Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
