every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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