first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
