cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
