Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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