nut hugger
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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