Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
