I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
