is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
