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• (415): View more from California

  Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?

  (323): View more from California

  Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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• (619): View more from California

  Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

  (1-619): View more from California

  I am not bailing you of of jail

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• (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.

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• (758): View more from St. Lucia-Carib

  He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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