Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

barbara walters just said penis...

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(650): barbara walters just said penis... http://tfl.nu/ninz

Replies (10) Good night (2682) Bad night (773)
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(585): View more from New York

lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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(585): lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time http://tfl.nu/tppe

Replies (9) Good night (4740) Bad night (596)
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(616): View more from Michigan

my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

does that include her cleaning your bowl?

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(616): my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave. (1-616): does that include her cleaning your bowl? http://tfl.nu/8sts

Replies (10) Good night (5752) Bad night (1102)
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(540): View more from Virginia

First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.

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(540): First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete. http://tfl.nu/s0lg

Replies (22) Good night (5101) Bad night (977)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...

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(250): He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock... http://tfl.nu/tura

Replies (15) Good night (5632) Bad night (1326)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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(228): I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me. http://tfl.nu/ndpv

Replies (6) Good night (2367) Bad night (836)
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(415): View more from California

He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.

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(415): He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her. http://tfl.nu/kc95

Replies (16) Good night (4177) Bad night (1709)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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(732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr

Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (1972)
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(831): View more from California

I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

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(831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0

Replies (12) Good night (2424) Bad night (745)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.

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(405): All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before. http://tfl.nu/9m83

Replies (9) Good night (520) Bad night (1312)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

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(920): Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/o6qd

Replies (5) Good night (1175) Bad night (793)
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(213): View more from California

Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.

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(213): Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave. http://tfl.nu/dd7g

Replies (6) Good night (1182) Bad night (626)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

(708): View more from Illinois

And it tastes incredible.

(708): View more from Illinois

And I have chest pains.

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(708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m

Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (412)
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(716): View more from New York

while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing

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(716): while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing http://tfl.nu/6vwv

Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (173)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it

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(316): Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it http://tfl.nu/i3st

Replies (5) Good night (1107) Bad night (250)

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