Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck