Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

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  (212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0
  Replies (13) Good night (3113) Bad night (643)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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  (775): Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/nqat
  Replies (26) Good night (3763) Bad night (656)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....

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  (586): at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool.... http://tfl.nu/juyn
  Replies (25) Good night (6433) Bad night (1735)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4585) Bad night (1496)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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  (905): Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots http://tfl.nu/aobh
  Replies (14) Good night (2941) Bad night (1884)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  thats the international knock for joint time

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  (423): you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell (901): thats the international knock for joint time http://tfl.nu/xbry
  Replies (7) Good night (4346) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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  (757): I believe some people would call last night an orgy. http://tfl.nu/5qwc
  Replies (7) Good night (3966) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2894) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.

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  (832): Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome. http://tfl.nu/ycrs
  Replies (7) Good night (873) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?

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  (571): Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today? http://tfl.nu/1p94
  Replies (3) Good night (1437) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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  (503): Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week? http://tfl.nu/t1cs
  Replies (2) Good night (1434) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts

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  (910): I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts http://tfl.nu/bmph
  Replies (14) Good night (1322) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.

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  (254): We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans. http://tfl.nu/t9r6
  Replies (5) Good night (900) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud

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  (44): I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud http://tfl.nu/s93d
  Replies (8) Good night (971) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.

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  (612): It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/k02r
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (311)

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