its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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