jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
