I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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