I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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