i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
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it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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