they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
