She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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