I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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