i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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