Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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