Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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