Me too!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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