her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
