IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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