i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
