How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize