your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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