My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
