Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha