Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water

(425): View more from Washington

Legs for days

(1-425): View more from Washington

Harpoon that

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.

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(514): View more from Quebec

in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

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(914): View more from New York

after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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(850): View more from Florida

Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

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(269): View more from Michigan

Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"

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(818): View more from California

You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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(775): View more from Nevada

sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works

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