Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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