i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.