at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.