I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake