Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
