no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
