you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
