sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
