can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
