No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
