handjob tips. give me some.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
