you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
