You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
