seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize