so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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