I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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