Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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