Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
