...so i touched it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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