discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
