he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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