kristin has been a bad kristin
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
