I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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