Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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