ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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