youre lurking in front of me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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