the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
