bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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