I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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