I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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