Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
