tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
