I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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