From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize