We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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