I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
two words: eviction party
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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