This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
